Perspectives on Victory and the Heroes you haven’t heard of

 
I have to say, it is easy as a Peace Corps volunteer to slip into feelings of disappointment at times. When I think about everything I wanted to achieve in the beginning of my service, (battling machismo, fixing the situation for abandoned or neglected youth working in the streets, huge research projects, etc….) okay… so I never actually expected to be a super hero and really do those things…. But I did expect to make some sort of dent. I sort of roll my eyes at myself sometimes… I have realized now, that when I step into those idealistic moments of saving the world, my ego is about the size of a hot air balloon! I now wonder what ever made me feel qualified to 'fix' those 'issues' in the first place… I realize that I have not always been as 'culturally sensitive' as I (Miss Sociology / Anthropology Lover) thought I could be! Just because I am from the United States does not qualify me to 'fix' anyone or anything. I had this feeling about Peace Corps before I joined… like there is a sort of built in belief that we as the US are 'advanced'. Sure, we are in many ways… but I think we need to get our feet back on the ground J



My perspective has changed so much as a volunteer. I have changed from a 'fixer' to an observer and vessel for realizing other peoples desires. Instead of analyzing and criticizing systems, I believe it is really important as a volunteer to instead find the people in your community who have a certain passion for a cause, hopefully ones similar to yours (maybe different) and learn everything you can from them to join in on their quest.
Doing this has created incredible bond for me in my community. If you would have told me when I first got to Ecuador that someday I would have life-long friends, more family and even heroes, I probably would have shrugged it off and told you 'yeah right' (hey, just being honest!) When I first got here I had major culture shock… I had no clue how I would ever achieve a friend when I felt it so difficult to relate to locals. A part of that was my lack of Spanish but mostly it was my lack of understanding of the culture.
I used to really dislike the lack of privacy and alone time I got here…. As North Americans, we REALLY value our independence and alone time…. Here I have ACTUALLY learned to see things a little differently. This for me feels like a huge victory! It is amazing to look back at the things that once drove me insane here and find that I love them now. Small examples being… salsa music at all hours of the night, guatita (or a dish that involved cows stomach and peanut sauce), tomato juice, extreme friendliness no matter WHAT mood you are in…. and lastly and largely- turning to company when sad instead of turning inward.
Here in Ecuador, no one wants you to feel alone. Feeling alone is the worst possible thing a person can feel. To me, this was difficult to accept…. When I wanted to be alone the most (when I was feeling homesick or physically sick….when I wanted to read or just veg out in front a movie…)_ those were the times when family and friends and coworkers came knocking at my door the most. I wouldn't take that leap in the beginning. I was stubborn and just wanted my SPACE (typical American ;) )
Well, something happened somewhere along the way…. I started letting people in. I started turning off the laptop and stepping outside into my community. I started conversing with those overly friendly people instead of giving short answer (which I thought were CLEAR hints that I was NOT in the mood to talk haha but…. The other party never seemed to pick up on those clear hints) Anyways, in the process of taking that leap and becoming more comfortable and turning outward instead of inward… I fell in love with Ecuadorian culture. I have to give my volunteer buddy Marissa credit here for helping teach me through her own experience. Marissa always takes the leap!
My leap has lead me places I never dreamed I'd end up. I have made amazing friends and absolutely adore my generous host family… Also, I have met new heroes to compliment the ones I already have (Mom, Dad, big red…. I have something to tell you….there's a couple new ones joining the pack!)
Rosa Lopez is a 'luchadora' or fighter. She is the head of the women's movement here in El Oro (my province)… she has taught me to get in touch with myself, and my feminist beliefs. She is a wise woman, brave enough to fight for the rights of the underdog here…and I admire her and everything I have learned from her.
Then there is my host dad and my host mom…. BOTH survivors of cancer (both cases of cancer happening within the last 2 or 3 years….) Pepito, my host dad, recently overcame kidney cancer. He had a tumor the size of a football. I truly believe their positive outlook on life is what saved them both. Regardless of the hardships they face, they have smiles on their faces and a deep rooted belief that it really will all be alright! Then there's my 23 year old host sister who took on running my host dad's VET (70-80 hour work weeks) all the while doing her thesis and not complaining even once….just saying it is all worth it because she gets to help her father.
There seems to be a running thread here… these people value human connections deeply. I have turned from a 'fixer' to an honorary Ecuadorian (if I am allowed to say that about myself? Feels a little weird haha) A girl that takes part in the culture. I have realized that all these accomplishments that I want to add to my belt or head or whatever…. Aren't nearly as important as valuing the ones I love. I have had one woman in my circle here die, a feminist fighter and founder of the women's movement, Teresa, and seen many others fall seriously ill.
I hear of more illness and death here than I ever have in my life. So I guess this is causing a paradigm shift!
What good are all of our degrees, promotions, money, and success when we fall seriously ill…or (morbid sorry!) but its true… die?
Who will be there in the end and what will we have truly enjoyed in life?
So this brings me to small victories. My peace corps projects ….and then the larger victories…. The heroes I have met. I celebrate the small victories….like my women's group that have begun to finish their first recycled art products and set personal goals! Then I really celebrate the people… The man in my barrio where I work that was brave enough to join these women (despite machismo and the people that would make fun of him) and make a recycled art change purse as well! The 21 teen girls between the ages of 11 and 17 that I worked with yesterday who were all once victims of sexual exploitation (being forced into sex work) who welcomed me into their home, smiled and laughed and shared their positive perspectives on life and the world with me (despite the odds, these girls are genuinely happy and excited about life). Those are real heroes….

 
So I have to say… it is easy to be disappointed as a peace corps volunteer…if you have the perspective of being a 'fixer' instead of a friend.
Now, as a friend, I have to say….this experience has been INVALUABLE. I feel like a different person….and a much happier person…. So, I am truly grateful.

My cutest new little friends with my project partner and great friend, Andrea!

Women from the Women's Movement at a fair in a nearby town. 

Alex Munos' awesome women's group that inspired my women's group (all those hats and purses are crocheted out of plastic bags!! Woohoo recycled ART)

Betty, part my women's group, finished her fourth change purse!

Brother of one of the women in my group who finished HIS first change purse! We are hoping to have a fair in a month to sell all these awesome recycled art goods!!

Mujeres de Exito / Women of Success

Our workshop was FULL! 

and fun!

So full, we don't have room for everyone! Also, the coldest day EVER here....who would have thought COLD was possible?!

My secondary project has really begun to take off. So much so, that it has become my primary project! I am happy to say that I now have four people dedicated to this project with me. Andrea, Patty, Alexis and and Carmen. CAI is officially my other counterpart institution (apart from La Casita de Mis Suenos).

We have named it 'Mujeres de Exito' or women of success. The objective of this project is to organize marginal neighborhoods throughout the port and the city of Machala, to solve problems that they themselves have defined within their communities (this is where my research comes in handy ;)).

In addition, this project will include workshops in human rights, cycles of violence, sex education, self-esteem as well as in prevention of drug and alcohol abuse.

4 de Abril has expressed their needs are primarily for work, a better income and less violence. They all agreed on this common problem: of having to go hungry at times.

Our dream here is to start a small business with these women, taking advantage of their natural resources which are the ocean and time! Nearly every woman I have spoken with in this neighborhood is incredibly motivated to start working. They tell me they want to learn anything...that it doesn't matter what it is, as long as they can move forward and better their living conditions.

Men playing soccer in the streets

I have fallen in love with this barrio! Upon arriving, you hear salsa music in the streets and see women and their children posted in front of their homes gossiping with their neighbors and playing games such as bingo. The men arrive in the early afternoon from fishing (as this is an early morning sport) and put themselves to work creating fishing nets for their next journey. Once they are done with this, they play soccer or volleyball. They have three main streets in this neighborhood, and all three become soccer fields or volley ball courts by the early evening. The women take care of the children and cook dinner for the men. A few women and men in the community have a small business called Mares y Manglares, where they buy and sell fish. This spot also serves as a restaurant, when there is demand. Its a pretty little spot overlooking the ocean and its mangroves.

And making fishing nets

My partners in this Andrea and Alexis are social workers at 'CAI' Centro de Atencion Integral Rosa Vivar, (they serve women and children who have survived intra-familiar violence and also do work in prevention with various communities). Andrea is my age and really motivated about this project. She used to work in youth groups so all of this is right up her ally. It has been inspiring meeting someone here who is so gung-ho to create and carry out well done projects with me.

Especially as I seemed to have been hitting my 1 year downward slope, feeling like successful projects were impossible!


Patty, my other partner, is a woman I recently met and recruited to help. She is amazing! She has decided to volunteer here in Machala and isn't affiliated with any organization. She just does all of this out of the goodness of her heart! She is from a city here called Guayaquil and is incredibly intelligent in Montessori educational systems, as this was her previous work. I am so grateful to have met her. She has put herself in charge of working with the women's children during our meetings.

Patty working away with the nenes!

She improvised and still did a great job!

Today was our first workshop in '4 de Abril' a fisherman's neighborhood in the local port here.

We had about 50 women show up to this workshop!! We left the decision up to them of whether or not they would like to continue to meet and move forward with projects. We also let them decide when and what we will be doing (this seems to be the key to successful projects!) They eagerly said they want to meet Fridays at 3pm. When we asked if they just wanted to meet one Friday per month, they all said NOOO, EVERY Friday!!

The best part of all of this is the way these women laugh! They can talk about their suffering and move you in profound ways and then in the very same sentence, make you laugh.

We got them chanting Mujeres de Exito and ready to organize themselves. First stop, small business! Thanks to the Peace Corps, UN's EXTENSIVE resources and books, I have capacitated myself in these subjects! Who would have thought??
Until next time,
Ash

Ladies of 4 de Abril

Just a few more of the wonderful ladies! 

The sweet life of a fisherman :)

The mangroves, which are depleting 

When I say Mujer, you say de Exito!

Meeting to talk about these projects with the president of another barrio, who asked us to hurry up and get to her neighborhood!

The beautiful Marlena, a Mujer de Exito of 4 de Abril

My companera Alexis, the Social Worker at CAI

Ganas para compartir! I want to share!

                                       After a little over a year in Ecuador, I finally begin to blog! 

For the first time today, I really wanted to blog! It began when my host sister told me we were going to go castrate a couple of pigs. When and where else in my life would I have this experience?

My host family has literally dozens of pigs! Noisy, smelly, awesomely HUGE and TINY pigs! Some of these pigs looked more like cows with their overwhelming size and black spots.

My host sisters and host father are all veterinarians. In fact, my first six months here in Machala I lived inside of the Vet and learned a little more than I expected about puppies, kitties, chickens, cows and cuy (guinea pig...my host dad is an acclaimed expert in cuy)

Today I got to learn a little about pigs. The way they roll in their own feces and snort about... the way they seem somewhat affectionate as they acknowledge your presence almost like a dog would.

The most stand out thing? The way they scream. It is all too easy to mistake those yelps for a baby's.

I didn't expect to help... I thought I would just be watching...that's when my host dad called my name and handed me the baby pig, which he had dangling in his hand's by it's back legs. Damn that thing could kick.. it scared me. I was responsible for holding it down while he performed the ....procedure....I won't explain in detail because I know my mom is reading this blog and I can imagine the face she is making right now. hahaha.

All I can tell you is he is a pro and so is my host sister. In a half an hours time, they castrated 6 baby pigs! Whew...and I swallowed my vegetarian pride a long time ago!

My host sister asked me what I thought, I told her I was impressed...but that they should start using gloves when they do things like that. She told me in the campo, (the country) after people castrate an animal, they cover the would with lemon juice. She said its an old remedy to make the animal heal and scar faster. Ouuuch. She says its a lie...that lemon doesn't do anything.

I am so proud of my host sister. She recently graduated Vet school and it looks like someday she will take over the family business.


        The truth is up until this point in my service, I haven't been able to really publicize much of the work I have done...(also, I hate looking back and seeing blog posts I have written! haha)

Anyways, I work in a protection center for children who have survived one type of abuse or another and although I have wanted to share many of the amazing experiences I have had, I have been unable to for obvious reasons.

However! Recently, I have taken up a complimentary project working with women in marginalized communities here in Machala and in Puerto Bolivar and am excited to share these adventures! (So coming soon, you will see pictures of my life in Machala,  these projects, and hopefully of my host family and their vet too!)

 I am teamed up with a women's movement here in my province and their project CAI (a center for attention to women and children victims of violence). Part of the objectives of this organization is to do prevention work out in the communities.

Thus, I am starting a program with a coworker there. We are going into the poorer barrios (neighborhoods) of Machala and Puerto Bolivar and working with these women to develop small businesses and possibly community banks. This way, they can begin to earn for themselves and gain a little bit of independence in doing so. This program will also include workshops on human rights, human trafficking, self-esteem/empowerment, healthy lifestyles and how to handle violence.

Many of these women are wives of fishermen and have trouble making ends meet. After doing 50 surveys in my first area of focus, I realized that almost every single woman had either heard of or personally experienced some sort of violence within her community. All claimed that violence is a problem in their community that needs addressing.
The men come home from their day of fishing and begin drinking. The women told me that their husbands are wonderful people...until the drinking begins. They told me the bottle transforms the man.

They also talked to me about the youth in their community. Many stop going to school at a young age to be able to support their families. The average education level is very low...not many make it to high school. Which leads to a lot of kids, without much money and a little too much free time.. I am sure you can put two and two together and see where that might land a child....

These women talk to me with a sense of urgency and motivation in their voices...they know what they want and better yet, they know what they deserve. Healthier, violence free and drug free lives. They ask us when we are coming back all the time, they are so eager to get started! I couldn't be happier with this experience. I am  thrilled to meet so many women in Machala and Puerto Bolivar, with so much enthusiasm for change.

These are truly amazing people...they have invited me into their homes and made me colada (a thick, popular drink here made with oatmeal), they have wasted away entire afternoons with me sharing their life experiences... they have welcomed me into their community!

Life in Pinchicha thus far

Where to begin? I have been in Tumbaco, Pinchincha Ecuador for a little over a month now. I am about an hour from Quito. Here in Tumbaco, the climate is pretty perfect! Not too hot, not too cold... I have been staying with a wonderful family...two young parents, a twelve year old daughter and a one month old baby girl. These first three months in Tumbaco are strictly training. So far, I have learned Ecuadorians eat Cuy, love family time and gringos! I have learned that I hit the jackpot by recieving placement in Ecuador where you can lay on the beach, climb a volcanoe and hang out in the jungle- all in one day. I have learned there is a wide range of socioeconomic statuses here...some people live comfortably, some live far more than comfortable and some live far below the poverty line. I have learned that people on the coast drop the S when they speak and that the word Chevere is pretty amazing. I have also learned that the more Spanish I learn, the less English I remember...so bare(right form of bare?) with my horrible grammar and spelling please!

All in all, because I am still in training, there is not much to report yet...except that I am feeling pretty lucky to be here, loving learning Spanish and missing home more than I ever have in my life. I also REALLY miss chipotle. Oh yeah...and I guess I kind of miss my boyfriend... ;)

This week was our Tech Trip to the Coast- Bahia, Monabi. Look it up because its beautiful! Soon enough I will be able to post photos. During our trip I got to have some amazing experiences giving charlas to middle schoolers about self-esteem, playing with special needs children (and learning not to confuse love with overprotection), leading a sort of support group for parents of special needs students...and my favorite part-the part of the trip that had the biggest impact on me- the house visit to a family with a daughter who can not speak, see or walk... The mother of this child was actually in my group that I lead...she was the most talkitive, positive woman I met that day...surprisingly, her house was not bigger than my bedroom (minus bathroom) in Riverside. It was completely made of wood...with a couple of holes in the floor so that you could see the earth below. She had three children and her husband all living in this house. Her walls were covered with all of their things- hanging by nails. She had everything she needed! A kitchen/eating area and a bedroom containing three beds. On her walls she also had over fifteen framed awards and diplomas which belonged to her children. She very proudly pointed them out to us. Her daughter with special needs is going through intesive rehabilitation and can now sit up.

I have never seen anything like this house or this family in my life. It was really inspiring...really eye opening. The barrio she lived in had over 25 children like her daughter in it...this shows me theres a strong correlation between poverty and special needs (obviously)...pretty interesting though isnt it? These barrios are really neat... you havent felt a true communal lifestyle until you have been to one. More later! Thanks for reading.

My Life in a 100lbs or Less!

When I first moved out, I had next to nothing to fill my house with. I had a lamp, a cat and a litter box. Literally...and people would always say, "Don't worry, you'll acquire stuff over the years!"

It seemed like stuff never acquired .... sitting in an empty apartment with only a lamp, a bed (finally) and a vanity....

However, somehow, three years later, it seems like I have acquired endless JUNK to get rid of!

Peace Corps allows you 100lbs of luggage. So, I must downsize my life to just that. :)

 I think part of my junk problem is having a garage....instead of going through the proper motions to get rid of junk, I seemed to have 'planned' to get rid of junk and simply moved it into the garage, where it was out of sight, out of mind...until now.

Yesterday, I successfully cleaned out a broken futon frame, a broken refrigerator and a broken treadmill.

Who knew people ACTUALLY collect junk- and make money off of it! The guy who picked junk up from my house seemed so excited to have all of my JUNK. He said that's how he makes a living- by taking people's stuff to the junkyard.  It's an everyday thing for him... an easy $100 a day he said.

SWEET.
Now all I have to sell/get rid of:
Kitchen table and chairs
bar stools
brown comfy chair
purple mini fridge which served as my only fridge for 6 months (lol)
entertainment center
audimen (spelling?)
Desk
Desk Chair
Bookshelves
Night stand
Honda Civic
and MISCELLANEOUS c r a p!
Woohoo, let the games begin!

If you are interested in any of these items, let me know!

Peace Corps Update

As it turns out I will not being going to Guatemala after all. Unfortunately Peace Corps removed their volunteers from Guatemala for the time being due to safety concerns.

I was given the option to serve in either Ecuador, Mozambique, Moldova or Costa Rica. My first thoughts were YES! Costa Rica!! Luckily, I decided to think a little harder before making the choice (this is a rarity in my life! ;) just kidding! well... kind of..) My placement officer sent me the Volunteer Assignment Descriptions and Welcome books for each country and let me go to work on making the decision.

After reading each I felt myself leaning towards Ecuador, simply because of the work I would be doing in Youth Education. Costa Rica was more about community development and health education whereas; Ecuador specifically focuses on developing after-school programs (a big determining factor for me!) and  partnering up with community and educational leaders to create effective projects for youth education.

 I called my placement officer and spoke with her about the challenging decision I had to make. She told me she believed that Ecuador was the best fit for me, based off of my skill set and current work experience.

Intuition + her opinion = Ecuador.

I am excited and thankful this is still working out! I will be departing on May 16 now. Hopefully, it is a much desired smooth ride from here to May 16th! Of course, we know it won't be after May 16, but that's what I signed up for and I can't wait for the experience of a lifetime!

Welcome!

Although I do not depart for Guatemala until late April, I decided it would be a smart(ish) idea to join the world of bloggers.  This way, I can keep in touch with everyone while simultaneously expanding my digital dossier! (yikes)...  

Facebook just won't cut it.  I hope you enjoy my ramblings and such :)

Here's the latest: 

I will be leaving April 25th for a 27 month long Peace Corps adventure in Guatemala. 

The first three months are spent training and becoming fluent in Spanish! 

Then, I will be moved to my specific community and spend three months adapting to local cultural customs. 

Finally, after ALL that adapting (which I expect to be the hardest part!)- I will be able to dig in.

My assignment is Youth Promoter. 

According to my invitation, 41% of Guatemala is under the age of 15! 

You see, Guatemala spent much of its history either being colonized or involved in guerrilla warfare. The result  is a very young population! 

My assignment states that I will be teaching/mentoring 6th, 7th and 8th graders and developing projects to create career paths. I will also be teaching health and helping teachers out! 

Teach, teach, teach!

 I foresee that one day I will permanently end up in a classroom...hopefully a lecture hall ;)!

I am incredibly excited about what is in store! Thanks for listening and I hope we stay connected!